well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
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