ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
