I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
