I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I am spending my child support on dildos
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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