So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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