Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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