i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
