It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
