I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
