so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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