I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
