I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
