Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
