I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
