What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
