her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
