the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
