party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
