no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Actions speak louder than pants.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
