I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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