I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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