I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i would punch a child for taco bell
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
