Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
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