You made me cry and you don't even care
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
