sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
