question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
