This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
