Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
