I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
It's blow job season.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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