He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
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