She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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