I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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