My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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