Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
porn star boner night. come get it.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize