Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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