My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
i need an iv and a liver transplant
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
