I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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