I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
