All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
