We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
You made out with two different species that night
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
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