he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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