i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
