Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize