She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize