they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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