it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
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