Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
