You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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