I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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