No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
