Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
