He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
