apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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