i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Duck Duck Cougar?
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
