i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
